Category Archives: Book Reviews

Book Review: Choosing You

Choosing You

by Jenny Trout

PROS

  • This was a well-written romance novel. Yes, you read that correctly. A well-written romance novel. So I guess the biggest ‘pro’ is that Jenny Trout has given me hope! I love romance, I love smut, but I also love language and grammar, and for the most part they have been mutually exclusive concepts. Enter Jenny Trout, my new hero.
  • The love interests were delightful. Obviously with a title like ‘Choosing You,’ we can assume that there is a choice to be made. Right? Well, Trout made the choice tough because both dudes were actually worthy of affection and I totally would have boned both of them. These were actual fantasy men. Yes, actual fantasy. I stand by it. Trout’s heroes don’t come in and stalk the MC or control her or make her decisions for her, but instead take an interest in her life and opinions. Madison is not treated like some cliched woman cut-out by the men in this novel; rather, they read literature naked together and run away from a half-crazed donkey. You know, SEXY stuff!
  • The sex scenes were hot! Yeah! When Madison tumbled into the sheets the first time, I was right there with her. They aren’t hardcore by any means, so if you’re looking for smutsmut you’ll have to look elsewhere. But these scenes were sweet, sexy, and definitely fantasy-worthy.
  • The setting was lovely. In this novel, you get to visit a small English village and meet a few of its locals.
  • There’s a donkey, and he’s ill-tempered. (IMPORTANT: The donkey is NOT a part of any of the sex scenes.)
  • It’s fun to read! I know I already talked about the writing, but you can have good writing and still be boring. This is not the case. Jenny Trout is funny. I laughed out loud, I grinned a lot, and sometimes I even said things like ‘tee hee!’
  • I detected a line or two of snark re: a book I loathe, and it tickled me. Oh, it tickled me.

CONS

  • It moved a little too fast. We were expected to go places emotionally in a very short period of time. Feasibly it could happen, but I don’t think the characters and situations were fully-developed.
  • Madison was supposed to be a 20-year-old college student, but she was coming across more as a 28-year-old grad student… Maybe just because I was so spazzy at that age, I can’t imagine someone being so put-together.
  • Before pointing out this ‘con,’ I just want to say that when the criticism of a book gets down to nitty-gritty details, it means that the rest of it was pretty damn good. That being said, this is one of my pet peeves: Thom is a professor of English literature, yet he says “Really, the problem with Jenna and I…” Perhaps I could overlook this if it were said by someone who is NOT an English professor because it’s a common enough mistake. But that really got my goat, especially because later on in the book ‘me’ is used correctly in a similar instance. So somehow this just slipped past the editors, and I’m the kind of asshole who not only noticed it, but who let it ruin a moment for me.
  • There’s only two and a half sex scenes.

Couldn’t put it down?

I could put this down, but I was always happy to pick it back up again. It didn’t keep me up at night, but I read it consistently during my reading times.

Would recommend?

Yes! I recommend this book to anyone who wants a real romance with vanilla-but-enticing sex scenes.

Guilty pleasure?

Nope. This is a real pleasure that I don’t feel guilty at all for liking.

Will I read more from this author?

You bet I will! I’m going to form a Jenny Trout fan club and appoint myself Treasurer!

Favorite Quotations:

“The sweetness pitched on its axis and tilted us into hungrier territory.” (You know they’re about to get it on!)

“I was reality-impaired when it came to romance.”

“He touched me like he wanted to live under my skin.”

choosing-you-cover-small

Click the book cover to find it at Amazon.com

Jenny’s website is www.jennytrout.com

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Book Review: Fifty Shades of Grey

Yeah, yeah, I’m years too late.

PROS

  • It kinda made me want to try Ben Wa balls. (Sidenote: I know I have played with these in regular stores as a child. And when I asked shopkeeps what they were used for, NOBODY said anything about kegels.)
  • It could obviously inspire a fantastic drinking game. I will probably create this.

CONS

  • It made me want to stab out my own eyeballs.
  • It made me totally re-evaluate my priorities, because as a woman who identifies very strongly as a feminist, I was STILL angrier about the writing than about the abuse.
  • I physically winced every time someone muttered, murmured, or said ‘hmm…’ It reminds me of a time when I sat for a tattoo for just over three hours. At the end of it, the artist was adding the scales to my dragon (Sidenote: I have, potentially, every single tattoo cliche you can think of) and my skin was already so sore and raw, that every time he touched the needle to it, I jumped. That’s how it was when fucking Christian or fucking Ana would murmur something THAT DIDN’T NEED TO BE MURMURED. I mean, if you are murmuring ALL OF YOUR CONVERSATIONS THEN THAT IS JUST THE WAY YOU TALK AND WHOEVER IS RECORDING YOU CAN JUST SAY ‘SAID.’ God. I hate this book! I hate it so much.
  • It made me truly sad for the amazing writers I know who will never reach even a fraction of the success that E.L. James has reached because they refuse to simply copy and paste the same goddamn cliches over and over again.
  • I hate this book.
  • As if the writing weren’t horrible enough (guys, it is SO SO BAD), the ‘story’ is worse? I think? I don’t know, I’m still cloudy with rage. Anyway, the story is basically a (completely unbelievable, how on earth are you AN ENGLISH MAJOR IN COLLEGE WITHOUT A COMPUTER, virgin 22-year-old who HAS NEVER EVEN WANTED TO KISS A PERSON BEFORE? I mean, Why, WHY, WHY is that even a thing that’s romantic? She’s so virginal that she hasn’t even had an impure thought? How does this resonate with any woman, ever?) woman meets this (completely unbelievable 27-YEAR-OLD business mogul who is boring as fuck but it’s okay because he’s hot. And by the way, if you are 27 and worth MILLIONS OR BILLIONS of dollars, how much time do you have to creepily stalk people? Seriously? Isn’t half the fantasy appeal of dating a billionaire the fact that they are so busy all the time you don’t have to deal with them? And you can just sit around and play video games while they are at work, then shower real fast when they text you that they are on their way home and make it look like you were being productive all day? That’s my fantasy.) man, he STALKS her–literal, actual stalking that somehow millions of women find romantic? Because he’s dreamy? You know who else was dreamy? Ted Fucking Bundy.–she hems and haws, has weirdly antagonistic feelings towards her pointless roommate, has unrealistic sex, and then–spoiler alert–decides it’s not for her and breaks up with him. WTF? I’m pretty sure I wrote that story in 7th grade, except without the stalking, sexism, or sex, and there were some dirt-bike races. That was a pretty good story.